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Marriage Hurts

Marriage hurt all these people. There are lots lots of comments like:
We have been married 8.5 years and have been in counseling almost seven years.
So, most of their time together has been messed up enough that they wanted counseling. By the way, marriage counseling is unpleasant, stay away.

Here is another type of comment where someone finds his or her spouse does not even want to try anymore:
My husband wanted a divorce. I was out of hope ... I registered for the lone ranger track ... There I was wanting to save my marriage and my husband could care less. I wondered how a marriage could be saved when only one partner was willing to participate.
And this is how much marriages can hurt people:
We've been married for 15 years, have four children and were on the brink of divorce. The emotional pain I had inside was so bad it was almost a physical pain.
(And the person goes on to talk about how this was hurting her children and her heart was broken.)

And consider this:
I am blown away with how far we have come in just 10 weeks. Everything is different. My husband and I are more in love now than we were on our wedding day. 10 weeks ago I couldn't stand being in the same room with him and today I know with all my heart that we will be together forever. Divorce will never be an option for us.
When they got married they were sure it would work. Now that they've experienced marriage failing, perhaps they should be a little less confident. A little more cautious and thoughtful. But, no, very quickly they are back to feeling completely sure that their relationship is special, and they won't divorce.

What's especially interesting to me is that you can take people who hate to be in the same room, and you can get them to fall madly in love within a few weeks. That's how shallow love is: you can create it, quickly, even between people who hate each other. And you can tell it's the real thing, because they act like it. They feel nothing could ever go wrong. Here she even explains how this love, that was created between her and a hated enemy in two months, is actually stronger than the one she originally married over.

Elliot Temple on December 7, 2007


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